


Some more again

by Willowshade



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU - College, Bittersweet, F/M, One-Shot, Songfic, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 01:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11863395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowshade/pseuds/Willowshade
Summary: A little time with him is all that she can get.





	Some more again

Sometimes I am wondering why  
you look at me and blink your eye  
.  
.  
.

In those rare moments of self-reflection, Annie found her situation rather funny. 

She blinked slowly at the ceiling, all too aware of the sleeping noises coming from beside her. An incomplete darkness enveloped the room, the kind she preferred in her naked flesh. It wasn't that she was shy about her body, or about sex in any aspect. It just that the darkness allowed her to more easily forget herself and everything else. 

A small smile pulled at her lips when a familiar thought entered her head. There it was. Armin again. She replayed an episode that happened earlier that day in her memory. In an out of character moment for both of them, Annie and Armin went to famous cheap pub beside college to have a drink with their classmates. Annie having a drink wasn't, in any way, a rare occurrence, it was the fact that she did so socially that made that incident unusual. 

And Armin? He didn't even drink, the perfect goody-two-shoes that he was. Even so, he was the only one to bring her along to the pub, just so they could "make company to the guys". If it had been anyone else, even her best friend Mina, Annie would've declined. But she accepted because Armin had a rather convincing look in his sparkling blue eyes. 

Oh yes, she was that weak against him. And her situation was funny because she had this hopeless crush on a guy she had few chances of getting. 

The fact that it was almost a year in this situation added a pitiful edge to the issue. 

With a sigh, Annie got up the bed slowly, as to not wake up the guy with her back turned to her. She glanced at the naked skin of his torso detachedly as she looked over it to find where her scattered clothes were. She moved carefully, silently as she put her panties, pants, and hoodie back in place. She tied her hair back in a ponytail and pointedly avoided looking at the mirror hung beside the door, as she opened it and exited the room. 

She buried her hands in her pockets as she left the apartment complex, outside the night was cold.

Sex was good today, she thought to herself, with a small ounce of satisfaction. If there was one thing she liked in those relationships, it was the sex. She had a handful of guys she could contact and arrange a date of sorts that would end up on their beds. She liked the detachment involved in that sort of fling. It was simple, easy and pleasurable. Was it the sort of relationships that most girls wanted? No. But it was the sort of relationship Annie could handle. 

Anything else would be too complicated. 

A scowl twisted her features, as again that persistent thought knocked on her consciousness. Instead of ignoring it, as she would usually do, as Annie looked at the dark windows of the speeding metro she allowed herself to think of Armin. She couldn't forget how glad she was that he had invited her to spend time after class. The way he laughed and ever so often brushed his hand against her arm to comment on a thing. The way he leaned on her to whisper something that wasn't even a secret. The way he threw his arm over her shoulder on a moment of exhilaration. 

God. Did he know how much he was provoking her? Getting her hopeful. Maybe if she didn't think she had a chance, she would be able to get over this crush. 

But sometimes, she was almost certain that Armin liked her back... despite the fact that he acted warmly with pretty much anyone, more so with his friends, group that Annie knew she was part of. 

But the way he acted around her, wasn't it different? Wasn't his smile a little brighter?

She wasn't, of course, certain of anything. The uncertainty was her paradise and despair at the same time.

Her scowl deepened. She hated how her thoughts sounded like a high schooler love-struck girl when she thought of him. 

She liked fucking. She didn't care about much feelings with guys, because love was an illusion, something that was more idealizations of a love-blinded fool than something concrete that could last or amount to anything other than suffering. Besides, she never had a relationship with a decent guy before, much less one that she treasured as a friend. She couldn't do it and it wouldn't ever happen to her.

She wasn't just that lucky.

Annie got home, finally, and fell face-down in the bed.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

She wasn't sure she quite understood her attraction to Armin. 

They had absolutely nothing in common other than the fact they both studied medicine and were rather depleted of height. Armin was a true nerd, the best student in everything. Annie did ok academically, probably she'd do better if she didn't spend so much time doing sports or fucking senselessly some quasi-strangers. Armin was a popular guy, with a bunch of male and female friends Meanwhile Annie was a certified loner that had one female friend, Mina, and a group of guys she usually hangs out with, as in Berthold, Reiner, and sometimes Eren and Armin. 

Plus, he wasn't that conventionally attractive for a guy, not to the extent that could explain her wanting. He had a delicated face, was really, really skinny, and talked and acted softer than most guys. Plus, he was probably a virgin. She thought he was damn hot anyways, the prospect that he was inexperienced in sex didn't matter at all to her, as it should. 

They didn't even like the same music style. 

He wanted pediatrics, she hated kids.

She loved coffee, he hated it.

The list was endless.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

Of course, nobody knew of her crush but Mina. She commented on it casually some day, after another charming dose of Armin. She downplayed her feelings a lot, saying that she liked him and that it didn't even make sense to her, because she didn't even feel physically attracted to him. 

HAHA

What a liar. 

After that they never breached the subject. Mina was her best friend, sure, but just as most people, she probably felt lost in a situation in which Annie admitted - heaven forbid - having soft feelings. It went completely against her tough-cold image. And liking Armin? Who could possibly conceive that couple?

It was better this way, she told herself.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

"Hey, Annie." He called, smiling in greeting. 

She smiled back, despite the torturous thoughts he put her into. 

Ever so naturally, suddenly, his hands fell to her back in which he massaged quickly when she turned, then before she could process it, he was talking to someone else. 

She fisted her hand, surprised at the quick contact. He always acted quite touchy with her, and it killed her. He was a touchy person by default, though. 

Her frustration changed to dry amusement at some point during the day. She didn't have the guts to do anything to get him, she was that much of a coward. She couldnt either will her crush away, that didn't work before. 

Perhaps if she avoided him.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

"You're acting different lately, did anything happen?"

Annie looked up her ipod, tried to ignore the feeling of his hands on her shoulder. "Nothing happened, just stressed 'cause tests, I guess."

Armin made an offhand comment, face worried, than his expression broke into a smile as he felt into his usual enthusiastic chatter. 

Annie had a persistent smile on her lips, as she looked up to him.

 

 

She was hopeless. 

.  
.  
.

I see your beutiful smile and  
I'd like to run away from reflections of me in your eyes,  
oh please

**Author's Note:**

> \--- 
> 
> This story was inspired by Daft Punk - Instant Crush and Sonata Arctica - Shy. 
> 
> Read and Review!


End file.
